Rocket Skates R&D Specialist
Job Title: Rocket Skates R&D Specialist
Department: Experimental Mobility & Questionable Ideas
Reports To: Senior Vice President of “It’ll Probably Work”
Job Description:
ACME Corporation is seeking a fearless and highly expendable—ahem, adaptable—Rocket Skates R&D Specialist to join our elite development team. This role focuses on the design, testing, and iterative improvement of high-velocity footwear intended for pursuit scenarios involving desert terrain, sheer cliffs, and long pauses in midair.
Key Responsibilities:
- Design, prototype, and test rocket-powered skates capable of extreme acceleration
- Conduct field tests in canyon, mesa, and cliff-side environments
- Analyze failure modes, including but not limited to: sudden ignition, delayed braking, and gravity-related surprises
- Collaborate with Cartoon Physics Compliance to ensure dramatic timing accuracy
- Document test results (if able) immediately after impact
Required Qualifications:
- Degree in Mechanical Engineering, Applied Cartoon Physics, or equivalent life experience
- Strong understanding of propulsion systems and personal safety in theory
- Ability to remain calm while traveling at unsafe speeds
- Willingness to test products personally
Bonus Qualifications:
- Experience with uncontrolled acceleration
- Prior cliff-side testing or free-fall data collection
- Familiarity with coyotes, roadrunners, or similarly hostile wildlife
Benefits:
- Competitive salary (hazard-adjusted)
- Free ACME safety helmet (one size, non-returnable)
- Unlimited access to replacement skates
- Medical coverage*
*Coverage excludes injuries resulting from gravity, inertia, or hubris.
ACME Corporation is an equal opportunity employer.
We encourage applications from all species, including canines, coyotes, and geniuses who should know better.